Secret Confession of a Pumper

Although it may be too much information to share here in cyberspace - I've been pumping.  For the past 9 weeks I've been spending quality time several times a day with my top of the line hospital grade breast pump.(That's right people - I just typed breast pump into cyberspace.) It's a rental, and its fabulous.  Fabulous in the sense that it is fast. And efficient.  I've never mastered the double "real-deal" feeding skills, and Baby Boy never got that good at it, so I mostly pump.

There are several reasons why I sacrifice my time and energy providing human milk for my offspring.

1 - It's the best stuff for them.  Apparently it boosts immunity, increases IQ, blesses children with Xray vision and ability to fly, etc.
2 - It's a truckload less expensive then buying formula.  Honestly, we may have to sell one of the older kids to finance the formula habit these new babies would develop if they ate it at every feeding.
3 - Ok - this is a shallow one, but it helps you loose the baby weight a heck of a lot quicker.  Feeding two extra people with my own body burns extra calories and makes it ok to have that extra bowl of ice cream at 11 pm when no one is watching.

But, to be honest one little perk that I didn't anticipate was secret reason number 4 for pumping.....

4 - The Alone Time

Yes

The All By Myself No One Bothering Me Ability to Ignore Screams of "Mom" Time Sitting on My Bed Stalking Facebook and Pinterest FreeCell Playing Time

See, no one is going to stop you when you say you have to go upstairs and pump.  Really, it's a bit taboo.  It's like I go upstairs and 15 minutes later I magically appear with milk.  Kinda like Fight Club - everyone knows what is happening but you don't talk about it.  No one wants to actually see what is happening - the reality of it is pretty darn gross.  So, all I have to do is say, "I gotta go pump." and the seas part, other adults start taking over, and the path to 15 minutes of solitude is cleared.

I lock the door, cozy up on the bed, hook myself up to an impersonal and awkward machine, and enjoy my time of quiet. And sometimes it takes me a really long time - you know how that pumping goes :)